The Just-Right Chicks OR I'm a Sucker for Animals in Need

i woke up from a night out w/the apopka crew, with a major beer hangover; i was in a foul mood & didn't want to meet mama for brunch, nor ride to the feed store to get hay for the horses; she coaxed me into it with promises of omelette and coffee.

after placing an order for the feed, i looked at the baby chicks, wishing for my 24th year that i could have them. while some children chased after baby goats, lambs, or ponies at petting zoos, i could always be found hanging around the hen house; my mother was always mortified to find "that kid" was indeed, her own. anyway, one baby chick popped his head up & startled me; his beak was deformed and somewhat resembled backwards siccors. i was astonished by his handicap and felt so bad for the little thing.

we paid for the hay and grain for the horses, but a mile down the road i began to sob over the poor baby chick... did i say sob? i meant WAIL (in the car, in the store). i just couldn't stand the thought of someone or other animals being mean to it on a farm... or no one ever wanting it...

AND SO WE WENT BACK AND GOT HIM AND HIS GIRLFRIEND! AND NOW I HAVE BABY CHICKS!

we set them in their cage in the yard to let them settle in, thinking this a caring and wise action... not more than 15min after we got home, who should emerge from the river, but a cotton mouth hissing & licking his chops for my peeps!

i have a scream truly unique and unlike any other i have ever heard. when i was about 10 years old, a representative from nickelodeon studios stopped me at universal and asked if i had any hidden talents? sure, i could sing. yes, i could dance... but i wondered if he wanted to hear me scream? "sure, kid," he laughed... but he didn't laugh for long. as i opened my mouth and uttered the banshee cry, his mouth hung open and the entire park seemed to come to a hault.

as i saw the snake slither toward my chicks, that scream was relived and possibly still echoes somewhere in the Swiss Alps, today.

of course, mama heard my cry and ran to the rescue. brandishing an unbrella like a spear, she sent the weapon through the air and missed the snake by mere inches- which sent him slithering away in a fury; the scene was tense.

i am so excited and i love them both- the deformed one the most- my jerk neighbor told me the unfortunate peep was retarded, but i don't believe him. the chick appears to be rather strong and keen, aside from aesthetic defects. they are very sweet and cuddly (i know it sounds ridiculous)... they're beach chicks :)